The Car That Ate Holland
July 28th, 2006Tired of Tires
For some time now, I have been well aware that my original tires have been on the road for many miles and need to be replaced. They had enough tread to pass inspection a few months ago, but it was evident that replacement tires would soon be necessary. I had hoped to wait until fall to replace the tires so that I would have full tread during the winter months. A rainy week in July made it clear that traction was an easily overlooked luxury when you had it and a much desired necessity when you didn't.
I really do hate shopping for tires, particularly with my current vehicle and its apparently odd tire size. Most places don't carry my size, and those that do rarely have four in stock. Add to that the standard frustration of choosing between performance, touring, and passenger tires.
By the way: What's up with speed ratings on SUV tires? The lowest speed rating is P, rated at 93 mph. Am I ever going to drive my 4-cylinder SUV at 93 mph? If I can even get it going that fast (downhill with the wind at my back), I'd be getting about 4 miles per gallon at that point.
Anyway, fate hastened my tire-purchasing decision this week. The other morning, one of the tires went flat. Further inspection showed that a largish screw practically turned my bald tire into a studded tire. So, my wife and I meandered out to put the spare on the vehicle. The first obstacle was finding the elusive, well-hidden jack. After typing in the code that revealed the secret door, we eventually found the jack and managed to wrestle it out of its super-secret nook. I am not technically inclined when it comes to automobiles, but I know enough to realize that tires are fairly essential to the operation of the vehicle. For this reason, I use the manual even for changing tires, because I don't want the tire to roll off the car on the highway just because I missed a step that was clearly outlined in the manual right in my glove compartment. I can, however, tell you with certainty that the tire blocks were not up to OSHA regulations.
My wife and I had a difference of opinion regarding the manual's instructions:
- Lower the vehicle by turning the jack handle counterclockwise.
- Tighten the wheel nuts firmly in a crisscross sequence, as shown.
- Lower the jack all the way and remove the jack from under the vehicle.
If you can figure out (without uncertainty) precisely what these instructions mean, please let me know. If I lower the vehicle in step 11, why am I lowering it again in step 13? Should I have lowered it only halfway in step 11? Or should I just lower it enough in step 11 so that the vehicle won't come crashing down on my foot when I'm trying to tighten the bolts in the next step? What's awful is that the person who put these instructions together likely went to school specifically for Technical Writing. Still, I don't think it made much difference.
Did I mention that I hate shopping for tires? I called around to find a place to buy a new set of tires. Wal-Mart doesn't carry them in my size. BJ's had them only through special order (and a one week wait). Goodyear only had one in stock. Dunn Tire had only three tires. All in all, I called four Wal-Marts, two BJ's, two Goodyear locations, and two Dunn Tire locations. Finally, the second Dunn Tire I called happened to have four tires in my size — Imagine that!
The Plot Thickens, World Shatters
Once the spare tire was fitted and secured, I went ahead and started installing the windshield wiper blades. Sometimes, installation can be tricky as I get confused regarding the proper orientation of the blade and wiper arm. I started with the driver side blade, and I just couldn't get it to click into place. My wife easily fitted the passenger side blade without any problem. (I would like to note that at this point, she asked me, "Why are you making it so difficult for yourself?" after she easily snapped her blade in.) After several minutes, I sighed and let my wife take over on that blade. I headed to the rear window to install that blade. I clicked that blade into place without much trouble. As I rounded the car to check on my wife's progress, I heard a loud CRACK! I could tell by my wife's expression that this was not the good kind of cracking sound like I hoped it might be. Sure enough, the bare metal wiper arm had slammed down in the middle of the windshield, leaving behind a few large cracks. (I should also note that the problematic blade was defective and simply wouldn't snap into place.)
One Last Vehicular Insult
While driving to work tonight, it started raining. I figured that rain wouldn't be a problem with my brand new tires, brand new windshield, brand new wipers, and even brand new wiper fluid. I turned on my wipers and they worked like a charm. I then flicked on the rear window wiper and halfway through the first wipe, it got stuck on the window fluid nozzle because the blade is too large. Apparently the random Wal-Mart shopper standing next to you in the wiper aisle doesn't know the exact size of every wiper on every vehicle.
C'est la vie. My car hates me this month, and I have no idea why. I haven't even been driving any other vehicles!