Background

On March 3, 2008, my father passed away unexpectedly due to heart failure. This was not the first time he had had heart issues; He had been hospitalized multiple times previously due to heart attacks.

As arrangements for my dad's body began, I remembered at least three times that my father had expressed his desire to be cremated. I also remembered something else he had once written, so I searched for a letter that he sent me a couple years ago. The letter described a place with a waterfalls in the Blue Ridge Mountains called "Falling Waters". He said that he wanted to take me to that spot some day to show me where he wanted his ashes spread. Unfortunately, I never got to go there with my dad for various reasons, but I thought that I could travel to this place he wanted so much for me to see. I decided to spread his ashes in this place, just as he had requested. I would still travel to this spot with my dad by my side.

Research

I had my work cut out for me, because the Blue Ridge Mountains are a mountain chain that span from Pennsylvania to Georgia and dad never explained exactly where this spot was. Since dad wrote that letter after driving from New York to Florida, it really could have been anywhere in that expanse.

After a few days of searching the internet, I found a "Falling Waters Cascades" point of interest in Google Maps. There was very little information — just the name, a general location, and a picture. Fortunately, it did show me that Falling Waters was in Virginia, outside Buchanan, VA and a few miles northeast of Roanoke. After getting this much information, I was able to track down a brochure on Blue Ridge trails in Virginia, which lists the Fallingwater Cascades Trail as being a moderate-difficulty 1.6 mile hike at milepost 83.1 on the Blue Ridge Parkway.

The Trip

In July 2008, I took a week off of work to make the trip. My wife and I headed down south by car, leaving the kids with relatives in New Jersey. After spending a long, long, long time on I-95, we finally made it to Virginia and spent the night outside Roanoke.

The next morning we set out early and made it to the section of the Blue Ridge Parkway we needed to be on, but had trouble finding the trailhead. None of the areas I passed were labeled as Fallingwater Cascades. After a small amount of confusion and a plenty of surfing the web on my cell phone, we finally located the trail. As it turns out, most pull-offs for trails on the Blue Ridge Parkway have signs prominently displayed and viewable from the road. The Fallingwater Cascades Trail, however, has a pulloff that is behind some trees, so the sign is easily visible only once you pull into the parking area.

Spreading the Ashes

We hiked a short distance down to the falls and enjoyed the view. We found a perfect spot to put my dad to rest, just as he would have wanted. On July 22, 2008 at 08:27, I placed my dad's remains to the stream just before it splashes down the falls. Here are a couple pictures of the area we were at:

• View from the top
• Dad's resting place

I got to do a lot of thinking about my dad on that trip and sitting there with his ashes in my hands. My dad had paranoid schizophrenia, which brings with it many ups and downs. Much of the time, dad made it difficult to ignore the downs. As I sat there staring at the water and the ashes, I remembered all the good times we shared over the years, and I was able to truly forgive both him and myself for the rest.

The Lower Falls

A little farther down the trail and farther down the falls, there is a wonderful spot to sit and enjoy the quiet. I am certain that this is the spot where dad sat for hours, enjoying the nature of this peaceful and beautiful area. Here is the view dad had that he was talking about in his letter:

• Bottom of the falls
• Bottom of the falls

Detailed Location Information

Since I have a GPS receiver, I took careful note of the place where I spread my father's ashes, so that I and others can return to this place with a bit less confusion and research than I had. The coordinates are:

My father's ashes
N 37° 28.610 W 079° 34.875

Parking
N 37° 28.381 W 079° 34.835

For the real geeks out there, you can right-click this link to download an LOC file of the above two coordinates (right-click to save the file). Also, here is the spot on Google Maps that you can zoom in and out to see the area:

View Larger Map
It is a great spot, and I suggest you take the time to check it out whenever you pass through that area.

The End

I really enjoyed the trip down and seeing this spot that my dad once described to me. I'll bet he would have been shocked to know that I really did fulfill this wish for him!

This trip and destination really gave me the chance to say good-bye to dad the way he wanted to be sent off. I'll always miss him, and I'll always love him.

Thanks for the trip, dad.

I have been working on the Readers' Challenge for ten months now. My ultimate goal is to Read 23 books in one year.

Since I slacked off on blogging and haven't posted here since February, here is a large portion of the books I have read for this challenge:

February 2008 (Month 4)

10. Thief of Time by Terry Pratchett
    This was my first exposure to the work of Terry Pratchett. As a long-time Douglas Adams fan, I had heard Pratchett's name many times, but never took the time to actually read one of his books. I grabbed this one because the plot sounded interesting, and when I read the jacket at home, I noticed it was part of the "Discworld" series. Curious about how to properly start the series, a lump formed in my throat as I discovered that there are thirty-two Discworld novels, and that's not counting four young adult novels, several graphic novels, multiple short stories, and a few science novels! In fact, there's even a flowchart displaying the proper reading order for eight different sub-plots within the Discworld series! Though this book is near the end of a reading order, I noticed that it was only "loosely" connected to the other books, so I went ahead and started reading. I could tell that I'd be reading more Pratchett (and more Discworld) books in the future shortly after I started. The Discworld is a mythology very similar to what you find in Lord of the Rings and Chronicles of Narnia, but much more irreverent. A very fun read — so much so that I decided to start at the beginning of this sub-plot reading order ("Death Novels") and read more Pratchett.
11. The Book of General Ignorance by John Lloyd & John Mitchinson
    This is a great book that gives you the answers to questions you never knew you didn't know. For instance: Who invented the telephone? What is the normal state of glass? What is the Number of the Beast? How many states are in the US? What shape did Columbus think the earth was? How many sheep were on Noah's Ark? Despite what you think, you don't know these answers (unless your answers happened to be: Antonio Meucci, solid, 616, 46, pear-shaped, and 14). Be sure to read this book and find out the truth about 230 misconceptions that are considered "common knowledge". A truly enlightening read.

March 2008 (Month 5)

12. No Country for Old Men by Cormac McCarthy
    I slipped this book in early so I could read it before the Coen Brothers' movie based on this book came out. It's an interesting story. In fact, I was shocked at how loyal the Coens were to the book. Little was left out or changed, save for some extraneous plot lines that jumbled up the last few chapters.
13. Girl Boy Etc. by Michael Weinreb
    This is an enjoyable collection of short stories primarily narrated by single men. Throughout the various stories, Weinreb uses contrastingly different personalities and shows us points of view that we don't often read, see, or hear.
14. Mort by Terry Pratchett
    In Pratchett's first "Death Novel" of the Discworld series, Death hires a lanky apprentice who is appropriately named Mort. When Death takes a break and Mort fails to properly carry out his duties, strange things start happening throughout the Discworld.

April 2008 (Month 6)

15. Darkly Dreaming Dexter by Jeff Lindsay
    Fans of the hit Showtime series Dexter will enjoy reading the book that started it all. Those unfamiliar with the show might enjoy the book as well. Dexter suffered a traumatic incident as a child and was adopted by a cop. Dexter's past altered his brain and gave him homicidal urges, so his adoptive father Harry taught him to kill only those truly evil people in the world who kept escaping the law. Fittingly, Dexter works in the police crime lab as a blood spatter expert.
16. Company: A Novel by Max Barry
    Anyone who has ever worked in an office environment and/or for a large corporation will adore this book. Barry does an excellent job at picking on bureaucracy as well as pointless and often contradictory business methods. The book begins with Stephen Jones' first day at Zephyr. Jones is fresh out of school and has high hopes for his career, but before he even meets most of his co-workers he is given his first task: Find out whether the department was shorted a donut that morning, or if someone took a second donut. Jones discovers that Zephyr is a mind-bogglingly (and hilariously, for the reader) bureaucratic company. After continually being frustrated with the mindless bureaucracy, Jones decides to march his way to complain directly to Senior Management (gasp) without an appointment!

May 2008 (Month 7)

17. Reaper Man by Terry Pratchett
    In the second of the Discworld "Death Novels", Death is fired from his job and sent to live among the humans. Not surprisingly, he chooses to work as a farmhand, using a scythe to cut grain. There's plenty of humor as Death attempts to live among humans, while the Wizards attempt to deal with strange occurrences due to the lack of a Death.

June 2008 (Month 8 )

18. Jennifer Government by Max Barry
    After finishing Company, I had to read another Max Barry novel. This novel takes place in a time where large companies have more or less taken the place of countries. Employees take on their employer's name as their last name, the government cannot do anything unless they are paid in advance, and companies begin using less guerrilla marketing and more guerrilla warfare. A unique view of a possible future, and a very interesting insight on large corporations.
19. Dearly Devoted Dexter by Jeff Lindsay
    Another excellent Dexter book from Lindsay. These books spawned the Showtime series Dexter, and though the plots vary, the books contain the same dry, dark humor and eerie detail that you might have seen on the show. Regardless, the author does a great job at writing interesting plots that make us enjoy this "lovable monster" as he interacts with the world around him.

July 2008 (Month 9)

Though I read during the month of July, I didn't finish a book, and there are several reasons for this. First, I have gotten into geocaching (which I will discuss in a future post), and this took up a lot of the spare time I had been using for reading. Nonetheless, I have been geocaching since April, so this is hardly an excuse. Additionally, I finished Dearly Devoted Dexter at the tail end of June, so I didn't have a "head start" on any books for this month. The book I was reading (Soul Music) was enjoyable, but for some reason it was a slow read for me. All that said, we also spent a week traveling on vacation, and while the book made the trip, quality reading time hardly ever made itself available.

August 2008 (Month 10)

20. Soul Music by Terry Pratchett
    Another interesting book in the Discworld series. In this book, the Discworld (a Lord of the Rings-esque mythical land) is infused with rock music after a musician finds a mystical instrument. As usual, a fun Pratchett book.
21. Soon I Will Be Invincible by Austin Grossman
    An excellent novel for fans of the superhero genre. Chapters alternate between the two narrators, the evil super-genius Doctor Impossible and the cybernetic super-heroine Fatale. The book is filled with homages to common superpowers, catchphrases, and origin stories found in countless comic books. Particularly enjoyable are Doctor Impossible's internal discussions about fighting superheros despite the fact that he loses every single time.

I just finished my 21st book and I have over two months left to read the last two. To tell you the truth, I'm actually reading two books simultaneously (one fiction, one self-help), so I shouldn't have too much trouble with this.

See more progress on: Read 23 books in three years

The third month has ended in my Readers' Challenge. Since I started, I updated my goal from reading 23 books in three years to instead to Read 23 books in one year. After three months, I have read 9 books. At this rate, I'll still have read my "quota" within 8 months. So long as I don't have another Orchid Thief in my list (see below for details), I may finish even before then.

Here are the four books I read in the second month, December 2007:

4. The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
   Despite the fact that this book was 520 pages, well over my self-imposed page limit, this was my favorite book thus far. The story is a chronologically broken telling of a man's time traveling life and his relationship with his wife. Though his travels were out of his conscious control, he often time traveled back to his wife's childhood and spent time with her there. I particularly appreciated the mythology of time travel in this book: He has accepted that "what has happened, has happened" and that he can't change events. (On one occasion, his attempts to avoid an embarrassing situation are actually the cause of the embarrassing situation.) He also has no control over traveling, and unlike most books or shows, he does not travel with his clothes. The book is a great story of romance conquering all and should appeal to both science fiction fans as well as those who enjoy romance.
5. Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead by Tom Stoppard
   Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead was one of my favorite movies, and the script is just as much fun. It's even better in the aspect that you can carefully read and re-read the fast-talking portions of the script that simply zing by in the movie or in a performance.
6. The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka
   I really couldn't stand this story. I couldn't figure out why in the world critics enjoy this story. When I have some free time, I'll have to grab Cliff's Notes for The Metamorphosis to see what people enjoy about the story. I think I have a grasp of some of the metaphors in the story, but even these don't redeem the plot. Does anyone have some words of wisdom about this story?
7. The Children of Men by P.D. James
   James' book is a great story of survival and redemption in a society that has given up all hope. In this story, the entire world has become sterile, and no one has given birth for over twenty-five years. James describes what England has become politically and socially after 25 years of optimism followed by hopelessness.
   I read this book because I enjoyed the movie, but I quickly found out that this book isn't really related to the movie. It's as if someone read the book and thought, "That gives me a great idea for a movie, but I couldn't use the plot without getting permission from the author." Nonetheless, the movie makes for a great movie and the book makes for a great book.

Here are the two books I read in the third month, January 2008:

8. The Orchid Thief by Susan Orlean
   This book was a bit of a disaster. I enjoyed Adaptation, so I thought I would read the book that the movie was based on. What I didn't know was that this book wasn't anything like the movie. The main characters of the movie (played by Nicholas Cage) are not in the book at all. This book is a biography of John Laroche, who was arrested stealing orchids from Florida swampland. Most of the book isn't even a biography, but instead a history of orchids, other plants, and Florida. The book me three long weeks to read. If you're very interested in flowers and people who devote their lives to flowers, then give this book a shot. Otherwise, watch Adaptation and maybe you'll like it. Here's one instance where I can clearly say that the movie was better than the book.
9. Speed Cleaning 101: Cut Your Cleaning Time in Half! by Laura Dellutri
   This is really a how-to book about how to efficiently clean your house. I chose it because I also have a goal to clean up my house and keep it clean. Dellutri has worked in the professional cleaning service for years, and she has gleaned many great ideas. Quick read with many great ideas. Facts like where the worst bacteria homes are in the house (kitchen sponge and refrigerator door) as well as how to clean efficiently (side-to-side strokes, not circular motions).

See more progress on: Read 23 books in three years

I thought I'd post an update on one of my goals for this year (and last year, and the year before). A year ago, I posted on 43 Things that perhaps moving into the new apartment would make things easier to keep the place neat and tidy. 2007 proved that this wasn't the case at all. I decided yesterday that I’ve got to really focus on accomplishing this goal so I can help keep my wife’s sanity intact.

Yesterday, I finally got around to getting started on cleaning up the apartment:

1. I picked up the kids’ toys after they went to bed and put the toys in bins. I warned the kids that they will be expected to keep their room clean and that some toys will be disappearing as we store them and/or give them away.
2. I ran two loads of dishes last night and mostly cleared out the sink.
3. The kids’ dirty clothes were piled on the floor, so I bought a second hamper so the kids have a place to put their dirty clothes.
4. We had a large mess on the kitchen floor where our recyclables really had no good place to go. The storage area was far too small (just two plastic drink containers and the bin was full). This resulted in plastic and cardboard spilling across the kitchen floor. To remedy this, I bought a couple plastic bins large enough to hold our standard amount of plastic, cardboard, and glass.
5. I put our futon back into the upright "couch" position — it had been in the flat "bed" position ever since we had company during the holidays.

So, for one night’s work, the place looks a bit cleaner and organized — and certainly less cluttered.

And tonight, I got some stuff accomplished, though I didn't do nearly as much as yesterday:

1. I cleared off the table of the mounds of papers and other items cluttering half of our dining room table. Not only do we have use of our table now, but we also have more of our clutter gone!
2. Sprayed and wiped off the dining room table and chairs.
3. I went through all the areas I cleaned yesterday and made sure that any disarray from today had been cleaned up. (This is the key to keeping the house clean each day!)

There’s still plenty of work ahead of us. We’ll see what the future holds. I’ve requested some cleaning / organization / decluttering books from the library to see what suggestions and hints I can glean from skimming them.

See more progress on: clean up my house and keep it clean. I'll probably post further updates there as I continue to try and keep up with this goal.

2008 has reared its ugly head, and left me with not even a handful of completed goals:

• 3 goals (7%) were completed successfully.
• 9 goals (21%) were abandoned.
• 31 goals (72%) will be carried over for 2008.

What goals have I chosen for 2008? 31 goals have been carried over, 12 new goals have been added, and 1 goal from 2006 has returned:

1. Accomplish more goals this year than last year
2. attend a local government meeting
3. Be a better blogger
4. be an audience member for a TV show taping*
5. Be part of a flash mob
6. build an igloo
7. clean up my house and keep it clean
8. Do the Discovery Health National Body Challenge
9. drink more water
10. eat healthier
11. eat with my hands
12. exercise regularly
13. fly a kite
14. Get better at chess*
15. Give blood
16. go camping
17. have a 3 month emergency fund
18. have family devotions
19. Help my child finish the Hooked on Math program*
20. Help my mother start her home business
21. Join a professional organization*
22. Learn how to remember peoples' names
23. Learn Spanish
24. learn to do crosswords*
25. learn to ice skate*
26. Learn to juggle*
27. lose weight
28. make a time capsule
29. Make family silhouettes*
30. open the yellow pages, pick the seventh restaurant, and eat the seventh entree and dessert on the menu
31. Read 23 books in one year†
32. Reduce debt.
33. Send a message in a bottle
34. Send a postcard to Postsecret
35. sleep in a hammock
36. spend ten minutes holding the door for people
37. stick to a budget
38. stop being late
39. take 43 photos of 43 places within 43 minutes of where I live‡
40. take a family vacation
41. Take the Mensa test.*
42. Volunteer
43. Write a will*

* A new goal for 2008.
† A "new" goal for 2008 added in October 2007 and due by October 2008.
‡ A renewed goal from before 2007.

You can also view my current list and past accomplished goals at 43 Things or on my own 43 Things page here.

My top two "cheered" goals by other 43 Things users each have 10 cheers, twice as many as the next highest cheered goal. They are:

• 10 cheers - build an igloo
• 10 cheers - attend a local government meeting

So, I should probably put a little extra effort into getting these completed this year.

As I mentioned before, I joined my library's Readers' Challenge to read 23 books in three years. I got off to a very quick start in my first month — 5 books — but then I picked up the guidelines and had to ask that two of my books be removed from my list. So now, I'm at 3 books, which is still ahead of schedule to finish 23 books in under a year.

Here's my progress so far, at the end of November 2007:

0. Families That Play Together Stay Together! by Cameron and Donna Partow
   This was a very nice book that encourages families to spend time together bonding and getting/keeping healthy. (I had to remove this from my list because guidelines state that you cannot count books that you own — only books you borrow from the library!)
1. A Man Without a Country by Kurt Vonnegut
   Vonnegut has always been one of my favorite authors, particularly since he was categorized by my high school as a "Contemporary Classic." Thus, I could read plenty of Vonnegut and have it count toward my required reading. A Man Without a Country is one of his more recent works, and is really more a collection of essays. I didn't appreciate this book as much as I would have liked because there was plenty of anti-Bush and Bush-equals-Hitler rhetoric. I know that Vonnegut was always more of a Socialist than anything else, but I just felt that this baseless blaming is and was above his intellect.
0. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl
   This is a wonderful childrens' classic that I enjoyed multiple times as a child and yet again this month as I read the book to Sebastian. Unfortunately, I had to have this book removed from my reading list because it is not categorized as an Adult or Young Adult book.
2. Firmin: Adventures of a Metropolitan Lowlife by Sam Savage
   Firmin is an interesting story of a rat who spends his infancy gnawing on a large book and quickly learning to read books. He spends much of his early life living in a bookstore, reading every book he can get access to. He spends his nights eating in a risqué movie theatre. All these books and movies lead to many grand ideas, but in the end, Firmin remains just a rat, detached from humankind. Finally, Firmin finds a human to bond with, but catastrophe befalls him on multiple levels as he loses his friend and the demolition of his home — Boston's Scollay Square — destroys all that he knows. The book is a sad story of longing, told from a truly unique perspective.
3. Money Doesn't Grow on Trees: A Parent's Guide to Raising Financially Responsible Children by Neale S. Godfrey
   This book is a very useful tool to help parents teach their children financial habits that should help them throughout life. The chapter on allowances sheds light on how to properly distribute money to your children (as early as three years old) and ensure that they use their money wisely by giving to charity and saving for medium- and long-term goals. The book also helps you explain to children how banks function and the confusing financial customs such as tipping and taxes. If you have children ages 3-18, you would be well advised to read this book and help your kids gain a mature view of money and finances — you will probably learn a few things about your own finances while you're at it!

I had placed a basic rule for myself that I would aim to read books that were around 200-250 pages so I wouldn't get swamped. After I made that personal guideline, one particular book kept coming up in lists of books similar to what I enjoy, so I checked it out of the library and found the first couple chapters captivating. Wouldn't you know it: That book is 540 pages! Still, that's the book I'm reading now, and it's worth it. Luckily, I'll finish this and still be a little ahead of schedule.

See more progress on: Read 23 books in three years