Random Fodder

A sequel for Baby Fight Club has come out, and it is predictably titled:

Baby Fight Club 2: In Pre-School, No One Can Hear You Scream

Baby Fight Club 2
In Pre-School, No One Can Hear You Scream

In this sequel to the 2006 hit Baby Fight Club, our hero Dylan takes us on an exciting journey that involves two emergency room visits in as many months.

Audiences demanded more blood and bruises in the original movie, and Baby Fight Club 2 does not disappoint!

As expected, the rules to Baby Fight Club have expanded:

1. The first rule of Baby Fight Club is: There is no Baby Fight Club.
2. The second rule of Baby Fight Club is: Don't pull your tower of plastic bins onto yourself.
3. The third rule of Baby Fight Club is: Don't try to climb up on a bed that's taller than you are.
4. The fourth rule of Baby Fight Club is: Don't try to run full speed across pavement when you can barely walk straight as it is.

Ribbon Butt

Another fashion tragedy has struck little Dylan's bottom: Ribbon Butt

Just three months after Dylan's Cheerio Butt incident, he has again managed to get something stuck to his butt. This time, it was a bit more common than cereal, but nonetheless, Dylan walked around for a good 15 minutes without any idea that he had a ribbon planted right where his bunny tail should be.

Though this was a fashion faux pas, Dylan does get a few points back because he coordinated the color of the ribbon with his pajamas.

Cheerio Butt

As Dylan got out of his car seat after arriving home from a birthday party, I noticed an odd phenomenon that can only be described as a true fashion faux pas: Cheerio Butt.

Oddly, the Cheerios defied gravity and stuck to Dylan's pants even after he got out of the car seat and stood up. As you can see in this picture here, the Cheerios remained firmly in place until brushed off.

I researched this phenomenon, and fashion designers agree that Cheerio Butt would be 27% more embarrassing than tissue paper stuck to the bottom of your show — if babies cared about their clothing at all.

Between you and me, I haven't tested this theory, but I think that the secret to Cheerio Butt is to use the Honey Nut variety.

Baby Fight Club

Saturday night, I noticed that Dylan had a gash above his eye along with a couple additional bruises in the same area. My wife said that he had pulled his large, stackable plastic bins over onto himself. I have a different theory, however: Baby Fight Club.

The rules of Baby Fight Club:

1. The first rule of Baby Fight Club is: There is no Baby Fight Club.
2. The second rule of Baby Fight Club is: Don't pull your tower of plastic bins onto yourself.

After developing my theory, I discovered that I was onto something. Online research turns up independent evidence of a Baby Fight Club.

Update: Baby Fight Club wasn't the end! In 2007, popular sequel Baby Fight Club 2 was released!

Dylan with Pastor Jeff

Dylan was dedicated at our church on Sunday, July 23, 2006. Both of his grandmothers were there to see the event..

You never know how your child is going to behave (or misbehave) during a public ceremony. Happily, Dylan was calm, content and quiet during his dedication. I think it helped that Sebastian was quite willing to run around behind Pastor Jeff or whereever else Dylan might have been facing so that he could get a good look at his brother.

At the conclusion of his dedication, Dylan received a certificate to match the one Sebastian got when he was dedicated a few years ago.

After church, Dylan was also treated to a few dedication presents from his grandmothers.

(Since this is a boringly-written post, I might toss up a brief video of the dedication, but no promises! If I do get it added, it will show up right here.)

Dylan turned 1 year old today.

They say about children that the time flies by, but I think this is only partially true. On occasion, it feels like the time has flown by, but today (and more often than not) it seems like Dylan has always been in our family. It's incomprehensible that he has been with us for merely a year.

Dylan's teeth still refuse to officially pop through those gums. I've explained to him that he can't grow up with a toothless smile (in this state, anyway), yet he still refuses to teethe.

Dylan doesn't seem to be using any words in my opinion, though my wife swears that his use of da-da and ma-ma are intentional. He does, however, do one horribly cute thing that we really need to videotape soon. When Sebastian pretends to be a puppy and gives off one of his high-pitched barks, Dylan counters with a small little bark of his own.

Dylan loves clapping and dancing to music — "It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time!" is certainly one of his favorites dance tunes.

Dylan is not yet walking without assistance, but that's fine with my wife. To her, less walking is less trouble. I'm not convinced. Once a baby can crawl with ease and pull himself up to a standing position, it's game over on safety. I'm still trying to get him to pull that string that drops the bricks on the raised end of the board he's sitting on so it catapults him up to the fan, which will catch his overalls and spin him around for a while. So far, he hasn't taken the bait. Hours of tape have already been wasted. America's Funniest Home Videos will have to keep waiting.

Don't forget about Dylan's page!

Weird. Today was Dylan's due date.

Due to our son's surprise induction and early arrival, instead of preparing for his birth, we just celebrated his three-week birthday on Friday!

This post was originally posted at The Smarmy Carny, Novac's general blog.