Sebastian pointed out that the toy was perfect for Dylan, his 2-year-old brother. I asked him about other children he knew of differering ages. He also agreed that one of his friends' younger sister Morgan (who is about 3-years-old) would also enjoy playing with the toy.

Sebastian proclaimed:

This toy is not for me. It's for children ages Dylan through Morgan.

I think the toy companies might want to hire Sebastian to come up with the age recommendations on their toys from now on!

Tomorrow's punishment for them is to sit on the stage (because their school has the classic cafetorium — the cafeteria/auditorium hybrid) once they are done eating. Tonight during his bedtime routine, Sebastian prayed and asked God to help him not have to sit on the stage tomorrow. He finished praying, and I looked up at him. Sebastian had this look on his face, and it was evident that he realized on his own that he had already earned his punishment tomorrow. Without prompting, Sebastian quickly lowered his head again and gave a revised prayer:

Dear God,
Please help me to stop talking in the lunchroom. And please help the lunch lady to forgive me.
In Jesus' name, amen.

May all of our lunch ladies forgive us.

Today, I was yelling at Dylan for trying to do this while I was working at the computer. Sebastian, who was watching me from a chair beside mine, calmly dispensed some parenting advice:

You need to scream at him as loud as you can. Then he starts crying and stops doing whatever it is you don't want him to be doing. That's what I do. It works almost every time.

. . . and another KinderQuote is born.

Now I know why God made it so 5-year-olds can't become parents.

• Everyone starts the day with a green card.
• If you misbehave, you get a yellow card.
• Corollary: If you are good for the remainder of the day, you can switch your yellow card back to a green card.
• If you misbehave while you already have a yellow card, you get a red card. (A red card may not be switched back.)
• If you have a red card at the end of the day, you do not get a sticker for good behavior.

One day Sebastian earned a yellow card for punching another kid in the arm because he was bothering him during story time. He came home with tear-stained cheeks. Interestingly enough, the only other yellow card he could remember was given to a petite girl who sits next to him. Her offense? Punching that same kid!

Apparently this system really is based on soccer, because we learned that you can earn a red card without earning a yellow card first, if the offense justifies it. The only red card given out thus far was given to a boy who cut his hair with his scissors.

Tonight, Sebastian was praying right before bed. He selflessly prayed:

Dear God, thank you for the day today. I pray that no one in my class will get a yellow card or red card tomorrow, or any other day of school. . . .

He prayed not just that he wouldn't get a card, but that no one would get a card . . . and not just tomorrow, but every day of school.

May we all learn to be this selfless with our prayers.

We returned to the car when the police officer took the dog out of the car and let people pet him. (To avoid confusion, I will explicitly state that we pet the dog, not the officer. It was a female officer and a male dog.)

The officer explained that the dog (named "Gyro") helped her by sniffing out guns and bombs. As we left the area, Sebastian asked several questions about this. I explained about dogs' abilities and that people didn't have the sense of smell required to perform the task.

Then Sebastian asked the question that cracked me up:

Why aren't there police cats?

I could see where Sebastian was coming from. If they used dogs, why not other domesticated animals? I explained that dogs were easier to train, but I just couldn't get the image out of my head of a big, burly police officer pulling a small cat out of the car to search for bombs. I think the image was even more comical when I imagined a bulletproof vest, too.

Me: So, did you learn anything in Kindergarten today?
Sebastian: [pauses] No.
Me: No? You didn't learn anything? You should have learned something . . . that's why you go to school!
Sebastian: Yeah, I learned something.
Me: Oh, OK. What did you learn today at school?
Sebastian: [pauses] I learned lots of things, but I forgot them.

So, there you have it. I wonder if they taught him "short term memory" in school today. If they did, I'll never know.

I don't know about you, but my memories about school are mostly from later grades, and my memories from kindergarten are filtered through an adult perspective now.

Who else but a kindergartner would start their story about phys. ed. by mentioning which color line they had to sit on while they weren't playing the game?

So, in the spirit of these beloved quotes, I am starting a new category, KinderQuotes. Here you will find an abundance of quotes (eventually) as Sebastian provides them with me.

Disclaimer: These quotes are not meant to be "more kind" than any other quote. They are not kinder quotes. They're KinderQuotes, as in quotes from the kindergartner.